N., who I’ve written about before, walks into my homeroom and asks if he can talk to me about something that happens this weekend. According to many students, I serve the role of N.’s mom, as he doesn’t have anyone to talk to at home. Of course, I told him I’d be happy to listen to what happened to him.

N.: Remember the girl I like? The one I introduced you to? J.? (N. tends to introduce me to every girl he considers dating.)

Me: Of course.

N.: Well, last year, I taught her ex how to breakdance. This was before I even knew her. He asked me to dance battle him. I thought it would be fun, so I said sure. This was Saturday afternoon.

Me: Ok, that sounds like fun.

N.: Well, it was. Until I was dancing and he swung at me. Told me he was jealous of me for sitting next to his ex in class.

Me: Well, that sounds unfair. I’m sorry that happened to you.

N.: Yeah, it was even more unfair when he and 15 of his friends jumped me on my way home.

Me: WHAT?

N.: Yep. It’s fine. They mostly only got the back of my head, I think. It was hard to tell when there were that many of them. It’s ok though.

At least this stuff seems to be happening outside of school this year…